The Moon Loves Me

My greetings to you...from Ukraine.  My first day and what an experience it has been.  There are so many rules one has to follow when in a foreign country.

1. DO NOT smile at strangers, for they will become suspicious.
2. DO NOT drink the water from the tap, the water is toxic...thanks a lot Chernobyl. 

3. (if you are male) DO NOT put chapstick on when riding the metro, your sexuality will be questioned.

4. PDA is allowed  wherever you go (including McDonald's) no matter how close to "X" rated it may be.

5. DO NOT do anything to draw attention to yourself.

I guess I can consider myself a rule breaker now because, I smile at everyone, the first thing I did upon my arrival was attempt to brush my teeth with the poisoned water, I held Danielle's hand on the metro while watching Brand slather on chapstick, I cuddled with Danielle's 4 year old brother Ethan, and considering I am one of the only American's here, all I do is draw attention to myself. 

All today I have not been able to stop noticing the differences of this foreign land and my home-sweet-home. Today, Danielle and I went to the store to get groceries and on our way back to her apartment we witnessed some man creeping out of the bushes with blood all over his face.  Our laughter subsided instantly upon the thought that any second, we were going to be raped.  Luckily, Danielle had fast fingers and got the gate opened to her apartment complex before our virtue could be stolen from us by Bushman the Wise.  Virtue is power, that's all I'm saying.

One of the other differences I couldn't help but notice is the fact that in Provo, we do not have hordes of stray dogs running a muck...and not only does Ukraine pride itself in it stray dog packs, they openly procreate on the sidewalk of the nearest children's playground.  Avert your eyes Ethan.  I could go on naming differences from these two great countries, but alas, it is getting late here.  However, I will leave you with one last tale...the tale of Vladamir the Visa Man. 

It was a dark night, my companions and I were enjoying a refreshing walk to the Lavra.  We passed through the underground malls where I noticed a shady looking man out of the corner of my eye.  To be honest, none of us paid attention to him because the streets of Kiev are flowing with men of his caliber.  We kept on our journey and were halfway to our destination when this man comes up behind us, drunk as a skunk, asking us if we could tell him how to get a visa.  Danielle politely told him we had no idea how to help and that we were sorry we couldn't do anything.  We kept walking, he kept talking.  His slurred speech and strong accent were hard to understand and none of knew how to handle the situation.  Hannah Leavitt then took the bull by its horns.

"What's your name?"

"Vladamir."

"Yeah, Vladamir, you need to go to the embassy. We can't help you!" 

And that my friends is how it's done.  Vladamir the Visa Man was no more.

Whether it was eating derenonie (potato pancakes) for breakfast or getting yelled at my an old women at the micro museum, so far, day one of my two-week European excursion has been an eye opening experience. 
 Toto, I'm not in Kansas anymore.