all i do is...worry

i was born with a curse. not the type of curse where i am doomed to prick my finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die at the age of 18 (i'm still alive if you haven't caught that)...but a curse nonetheless.  i am a worrier and a big one at that.  i self diagnosed myself as OCD.  who else as a child would check (multiple times) to make sure all the doors in their house were locked or make sure that during the drought, that all the faucets were completely turned off? and do that about 10 times? or who refused to use public restrooms for fear of contracting a serious disease?

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although i perform none of those OCD "rituals" anymore i have worry written all over my face.  i'm telling you, it is a curse.  for some crazy reason my brain was wired to i over think, over analyze, and over complicate every situation. i hate it.  i can never just go with the flow. sometimes it's the stupid things i spend time on: what to wear or what to say in a text...but then it's the big things too: i worry if i chose the right major, when i'll get married, i worry about my health, the economy, boys....the works. seriously, i worry about it all.  but, i guess i have my reasons to worry, my reasons to be concerned, however my biggest comfort comes from one of my favorite scriptures:

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"behold, God is my salvation; i will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he has also become my salvation." 2nd Nephi 22:2

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i love this.  fear is the opposite of faith and doubt is the opposite of trust.  God is my salvation, no matter what my worries, he'll save me from them. one of the hardest things for me to realize is that faith is a choice, it isn't something that is just going to be handed to me.

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"choose faith. choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism."

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easier said then done.  my obituary will probably state that i "was worried to death". 
uh....i have a lot to work on.