an update

Today, my dear friend Shelbey came out of the closet...the blog closet.  I guess we all conform to one thing or another at some point.  As I read through her posts, I realized how terrible of a blogger I have been lately.  Here a music video, there a quote, but, no real substance.  Sometimes my thoughts are so jumbled, I hardly know what to put in words so, I let others do it for me.  However, it's time I step up my game.

Ladies and gentleman, today I became a women and surfed a location other than Malaekahana.   Huge success on my end.  I was nervous but, Bobby was patient with me and guided me through the whole process.  If you haven't picked up on this yet, I have an amazing boyfriend.  I only caught about three waves and I was shivering the whole time but, it was wonderful.  After the rainclouds departed, the sun set in the most beautiful way, there were whales spouting in the distance, turtles swimming around me, and yes, a double rainbow.  If you haven't caught on to this, I live in paradise.

School has been stressful.  Saying that I am burnt out would be an understatement.  I am juggling some tough classes, all dealing with heavy topics.  Conflict resolution and cultural studies cause more inner reflection than almost anything else.  Finding meaning in our symbols, rituals, language, narratives, and worldviews is taking the question of "Who am I?" to a new and exciting, yet thought provoking and pensive level.

With school taking a toll on my sanity (as much as I love learning) I am so excited to head home in two weeks for my little brother's farewell.  Ryan is going on a mission?!  I still can't wrap my head around this and it hasn't fully hit me.  In only a matter of time, I will have no one to quote Neil Young with or to send nonsense jokes to.  And how on earth will I keep informed about the stock market, politics, real estate, and sports without him around?  It's gonna be a rough to years without him.  He is my best and greatest friend.

Something else that has been on my mind and is always on my mind is this:  I am in love, with the most incredible man.  I am honest when I say that I don't know what the future holds for him and I but, I am also honest in saying that I am extremely blessed to have him in my life.  He is kind and patient, understanding, supportive, generous, spiritual, honest, adventurous, funny, hardworking and so loving.  I know I can tell him anything and that he will listen.  He honors my choices and he cares about my happiness. We have been through a lot together and we have growth to come.  I realize that I am young, I know I have made mistakes and have a lot to learn but, I care so deeply for him.  His love gets me through the most joyous of moments as well as the tough.

I have been keeping a gratitude journal.  Recognizing all of the gifts from God in my life helps me to be happier and more to devoted to Christ.  I am thankful for the gospel.  The blessings I receive from being a member and from being a daughter of God are more than I deserve.   I feel God's love constantly and although I am not perfect, I hope He feels my love as well.

Life is a beautiful journey.

In less than two months, I will be 21.