"let brotherly love continue"

"Love is of the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is more than the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death." 

 Gordon B. Hinckley

The ability we have as human beings to love astounds me.  It is such a mysterious concept.  Yet, it is so real and powerful.  What does it mean to love?  How do we love?  What can we love?  Obviously, there are many answers to these questions and an individual may answer them differently depending on age, circumstance, upbringing, etc.  But, it is a subject that fascinates me most ardently and I will answer those questions based on the experiences I have been having here in Switzerland over the past week or so.  

I've been thinking a lot about love lately.  Not necessarily the romantic kind of love where our hearts race and our stomaches are filled with butterflies but the love that the Lord talks about throughout the scriptures as "brotherly love".

I have been interning as an office assistant for Initiatives of Change in Caux, Switzerland and have had the opportunity of working very closely with a group of about thirty young men and women from around the globe.  It has been one week, a mere 170 hours and I can honestly tell you that I love these people.  I do, I really do.  Their stories are powerful and I have learned from each of them.  My ability to love these people in a short period of time caught me off guard and this process of caring has consumed my thoughts over the past few days.   

Perhaps it is my interest in peacebuilding and conflict transformation that has me contemplating these ideas but then again, I believe it comes down to a fundamental desire that we all posses-- a desire to connect.  We want to be recognized, understood, heard, validated, and yes, loved.  We crave it.  As I have spent time pondering this concept I have thought back to last summer.  Due to a certain situation, I felt lost, vulnerable, weak, disconnected, and a severe lack of love.  Confusion clouded all my thoughts.   I was convinced that love didn't exist.   It was a very hopeless and dark feeling.  And, although this loss of love was linked to romance, I have since overcome that despair and I am convinced that love is the most powerful force in the world. 

Yesterday, my friend Ahmed, who is from Egypt discussed with me his views on the revolution that is taking place in his home country.  I saw fire in his eyes and hope in his words.  This was love.  I took a walk yesterday and felt the sun upon my skin and the wind on my face.  This was love.  My parents have been married since 1986.  This is love.  

My new friends and I have laughed about bodily functions, danced together to Pitbull and Jennifer Lopez, eaten together, served together, and cried together. This is why I love them-- we have connected. Through this connection, perceptions have been changed, minds have been opened, and love has been felt.

I don't have all the answers to the first list of questions I mentioned but, I believe in love and I believe in God's love. I also believe that if we are open to His love, we can feel it on a daily basis.  This thought empowers me. Through the mere action of breathing, I can feel the most powerful being in the universe's love for me.  That thought alone brings so much joy to my soul and peace to my mind.

I feel honored to be having this experience.  I am surrounded by people who have a desire for more love in the world and are acting as agents of change in the best way they know.  I feel inspired, uplifted, and ready to take on the world.

I love these people.

everyday

In the morning when I wake and the sun is coming through,

Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness & you fill my head with you.

children of the sun

i love the summer months here in hawaii.

small waves, the warm sun, and good friends-- it's all one needs to be happy.

 

 

Brimming with Joy

I've been holding my thoughts in for a while--not necessarily out of fear or sadness but, rather because I haven't known exactly how to put them into words.

Right now, I should be studying for a mid-term but, I am avoiding it.  All I want to do is bask in the happiness and sunshine that has been surrounding me.  I read a quote by Neal A. Maxwell the other day and I have thought about it a lot recently.  In his talk "Brim With Joy" he says that, "Within each of our circles of friendship there lie so many unused opportunities to love, to serve, and to be taught. Indeed, one could apply the scriptural phrase about there being 'enough and to spare' (D&C 104:17). None of us ever fully utilizes the people-opportunities allocated to us within our circles of friendship. You and I may call these intersectings 'coincidence.' This word is understandable for mortals to use, but coincidence is not an appropriate word to describe the workings of an omniscient God. He does not do things by 'coincidence' but instead by 'divine design.'"

I know that my life is being guided by the Spirit and that the Lord is watching out for me.  I feel His love in the rain, the sun-rays, and the movement of the ocean.  I can't adequately express my gratitude for my roommates, my family, my friends, and my Savior.  

I look forward in anticipation for the future.  I am excited for the growth, the progression and knowledge that is coming my way.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

CS Lewis.

an update

Today, my dear friend Shelbey came out of the closet...the blog closet.  I guess we all conform to one thing or another at some point.  As I read through her posts, I realized how terrible of a blogger I have been lately.  Here a music video, there a quote, but, no real substance.  Sometimes my thoughts are so jumbled, I hardly know what to put in words so, I let others do it for me.  However, it's time I step up my game.

Ladies and gentleman, today I became a women and surfed a location other than Malaekahana.   Huge success on my end.  I was nervous but, Bobby was patient with me and guided me through the whole process.  If you haven't picked up on this yet, I have an amazing boyfriend.  I only caught about three waves and I was shivering the whole time but, it was wonderful.  After the rainclouds departed, the sun set in the most beautiful way, there were whales spouting in the distance, turtles swimming around me, and yes, a double rainbow.  If you haven't caught on to this, I live in paradise.

School has been stressful.  Saying that I am burnt out would be an understatement.  I am juggling some tough classes, all dealing with heavy topics.  Conflict resolution and cultural studies cause more inner reflection than almost anything else.  Finding meaning in our symbols, rituals, language, narratives, and worldviews is taking the question of "Who am I?" to a new and exciting, yet thought provoking and pensive level.

With school taking a toll on my sanity (as much as I love learning) I am so excited to head home in two weeks for my little brother's farewell.  Ryan is going on a mission?!  I still can't wrap my head around this and it hasn't fully hit me.  In only a matter of time, I will have no one to quote Neil Young with or to send nonsense jokes to.  And how on earth will I keep informed about the stock market, politics, real estate, and sports without him around?  It's gonna be a rough to years without him.  He is my best and greatest friend.

Something else that has been on my mind and is always on my mind is this:  I am in love, with the most incredible man.  I am honest when I say that I don't know what the future holds for him and I but, I am also honest in saying that I am extremely blessed to have him in my life.  He is kind and patient, understanding, supportive, generous, spiritual, honest, adventurous, funny, hardworking and so loving.  I know I can tell him anything and that he will listen.  He honors my choices and he cares about my happiness. We have been through a lot together and we have growth to come.  I realize that I am young, I know I have made mistakes and have a lot to learn but, I care so deeply for him.  His love gets me through the most joyous of moments as well as the tough.

I have been keeping a gratitude journal.  Recognizing all of the gifts from God in my life helps me to be happier and more to devoted to Christ.  I am thankful for the gospel.  The blessings I receive from being a member and from being a daughter of God are more than I deserve.   I feel God's love constantly and although I am not perfect, I hope He feels my love as well.

Life is a beautiful journey.

In less than two months, I will be 21.

new friends

I met the most adorable little girl the other day and I just ran into her again.  Her name is Mapa, she is from Tonga and I assume she is around nine years old.  She smiled at me, laughed at my jokes and hugged me.  I felt her happiness, her love and her kindness.  

The Lord blessed me with her spirit today, I needed her positive energy and light.  

Hope to see you again soon Mapa. 

bones are sinking like stones

we live in a beautiful world

 ya we do, ya we do.

heaven on earth

picture credit amber mozo

i love this place and how happy i am here.

ray bradbury

“If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”

i'll wake up

i like music that makes me feel happy--
this song does just that.

fire and rain

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

chills all over my body

i get really territorial over things that i love.  

and let me tell you, i have loved les mis for years. 

all of a sudden, there is this band-wagon les miserables love due to the movie coming out in december. i have mixed emotions because of it. 

sometimes i want to scream at these new found lovers, 

"you haven't cared about jean valjean as long as i have" or 

"you don't really know enjolras the way i do" 

but, the other side of me says "come join in our parade!"  

i teared up watching this trailer.

oh, it's going to be SO, SO good.

sunday, funday

When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a person.

Joss Whedon

won't you just stay for a while, i got so much to say

i really like this boy and i enjoy every second i am able to be in his presence. 

surfing, guitar playing, home-work doing, even exercising are that much better when i am with him.

black and white

honestly, he's my best friend.

obsession

my ears have died and gone to heaven.

 

my drishti

i started practicing ashtanga yoga this past summer and it became a very important part of my life.  yoga helped me relax in stressful moments, helped me sweat when i needed a good workout, and gave me wisdom when i lacked faith.

it never replaced God but, brought me closer to Him in so many ways.  yesterday, i did yoga on the beach with my friend caitlyn who trained at the studio i attended.  it was one of the best mornings i have had in hawaii.   she helped me move deeper into my poses and gave me the insight i needed to start this weekend off right.

and on top of it all, i mastered the headstand.

NAMASTE

seriously, so happy.

hello sunshine, come into my life

my heart is so happy these days.  

 

 

to the end of love

if ever i am shown good music, i have to share it.  i've had this song on repeat for a couple of days now.  it is beyond beautiful.  it makes me wish i was in love (...with the male vocalist that is) or just in love with any long-haired, bearded, deep-voiced, guitar-playing male.  how hot is he?  how sexy is this song?  pretty hot.  pretty sexy.