help.

i let my past go too fast,
no time to pause.
if i could slow it all down.
like some captain, whose ship runs aground.
i can't wait until the tide comes around.
time stand still.
i'm not looking back but i want to look around me now
freeze this moment a little bit longer, make each sensation a little bit longer.
the innocence slips away.
RUSH

music is often times one of the only thing i can relate too.

i wish time would time would stand still just for a bit, long enough for me to catch my breath and figure out what is going on in my life.  too much is going on.  there are around a billion thoughts crammed in my head.

i just finished my first semester of college.
i passed biology.
goodbyes are hard.
winter semester.
15 credits.
online classes.
new roommate.
study abroad deadline, january 28th.
study abroad.
london.
spring term.
missions are a very long two years.
i need to change my major.
international cultural studies.
one more week.
him.
i need money.
i need a job.

i have a problem.  i can't make decisions.  example: i changed outfits around 10 times the other day.  how am i ever to decide what to do with my life? my future is about as unclear to me as a cup of dirt.  the direction my life is going is so different than i ever thought it would be.  life comes at you fast.  this is when i wish i was one of the lost boys from neverland and i never had to grow up.  i am almost 19. what have i done with my life? what am i going to do with my life?  i feel like dory from finding nemo, "just keep swimming."

i'll get there.
i'll figure things out.
just give me some time.

"the future is as bright as your faith"