i survived my first day at the new job! working with a group of fourth graders at the boys and girls club is not going to be an easy task but after yesterday, i really think i am going to enjoy it (for the most part). it made me reflect back to my internship with the special education students at edgemont elementary, honestly one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. i forget how funny kids can be. what fourth grader goes around saying, "i need to get out of this joint and find my homies" or "i went to vegas once and you definitely don't want to know what i did there". products of their environment? i think so.
including this new job, i have had many experiences recently that have made me think about the lord's plan for me and what it entails. my faith is being tried and my patience tested. in moments like these, i find that everyone has an opinion. everyone tells you what you should do, how you should go about your life, and the decisions you should make. as thankful as i am for the advice, sometimes, the whirlwind of words i receive confuses instead of comforts.
i was with a good friend of mine last night and we were discussing a really difficult trial he is facing and with optimism he said something to the affect of "the lord is a really sneaky guy because he knew this was exactly what i needed, even when i didn't and now, i'm learning my lesson". i started laughing because who has ever heard the lord described as a "sneaky guy"?
i rely so much on my own feelings, my own strength and desires that i forget to put the will of the lord first and then when trials come, i get frustrated and often times, discouraged. but, the trials i face (no matter how big or small) always end up being what i need most at the time.
i read a talk by neal a. maxwell the other night and it really made me appreciate the fact that we have prophets and apostles on this earth today who give us constant, loving, and guiding advice on which i can always rely.
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"If God chooses to teach us the things we most need to learn because he loves us, and if he seeks to tame our souls and gentle us in the way we most need to be tamed and most need to be gentled, it follows that he will customize the challenges he gives us and individualize them so that we will be prepared for life in a better world by his refusal to take us out of this world, even though we are not of it. In the eternal ecology of things we must pray, therefore, not that things be taken from us, but that God's will be accomplished through us. What, therefore, may seem now to be mere unconnected pieces of tile will someday, when we look back, take form and pattern, and we will realize that God was making a mosaic. For there is in each of our lives this kind of divine design, this pattern, this purpose that is in the process of becoming, which is continually before the Lord but which for us, looking forward, is sometimes perplexing."
I feel the same way about recieving advice from everyone all at once, it is so overwhelming and I feel like it takes me a few steps back rather than forward because I'm more confused than I was to start with. Glad you like the new job, kids are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteyou're working at the boys & girls club?!!?!?!! i volunteered there last semester! holy crap girl! you will be fabulous, dead tired all the time, but fabulous nonetheless! the one word that comes to my mind when i think of the boys and girls club is chaos. but you know what, chaos is something worth loving sometimes, and this is one of those times. i get what you mean when you say "products of their environment" i heard downright shocking things fly out of the mouths of those kids. i was only there a short time, but i learned to love some of those kids dearly. to think that you're working with them far more than i ever did is amazing - you will make such an impact on their lives and you will love them more than you thought possible. i'm slightly jealous of your job.
ReplyDeletemoving on... don't discredit yourself kenzie. you have more strength than you realize. it is so evident through not only your writing but your wonderful personality (which i am lucky enough to say i have seen in real life). you are a strong girl -- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. you can handle anything that sneaky guy throws your way. i know you can. i like how elder maxwell used the word customize when talking about trials. we all get trials but the word customize puts it into a greater perspective for me. even when (especially at this age) we seem to be going through similar trials of uncertainty, confidence issues, and relationship hardships it is humbling to know that they are each individually catored to our needs. we will learn exactly what the lord wants us to because the trials are meant exactly for us. i also love the idea of not praying for the riddance of a trial but rather that we will learn and do as the lord would have us. and now i will end this novel of a comment. you have given me much to think about and much to strive for. thank you for that.
McKenzie, thanks for sharing that quote from Elder Maxwell. That is great. I am glad things are going well at the boys and girls club. I knew you would be great!
ReplyDeleteHang in there with your life decisions. It will come slowly but surely. I am still trying to figure my life out, too!
Okay, that quote from Elder Maxwell was EXACTLY what I needed to read. I am so happy that I found your blog through Kylee and I hope that you know how incredible you are!! Thank you for sharing and writing this post. You can do hard things!!
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