on an island in the sun

We survived our first week back at school.  To celebrate we did what we do best....

Super Saturday.

LA MAR

The new school year brings deadlines and time restraints.   I just started my last semester of college so, I am trying hard to balance my commitment to education and my desire to absorb all the fun I can handle.

It goes without saying, we don't let school get in the way of our education.

"...the sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonders forever."

Jacques-Yves Cousteau

musings on happiness

The past few months have been very surreal.  At the beginning of May, I broke up with my boyfriend of over year and a half.  It was an event that at one point in my life, seemed unfathomable. But, it happened, it was right and the decision to call things off made my soul feel light and brought me back to a reality that I had been removed from for a long time.  The month of May was filled with laughter, adventures, smiles and gratitude.  For the fist time, in a long time, I felt whole.  I was going swimming at night, I was listening to my kind-of music, I was making silly jokes, and dancing crazy.   I became "McKenzie" again.  June took me to San Clemente, San Francisco, Utah, and then Switzerland.   My life is literally tripping me out (pun intended).

I am having life-changing experiences, meeting the most amazing people, and I am learning so much.  I have been on a constant cloud nine.  But, the other night, for some stupid reason, I was sad.  I was upset about an instance that doesn't deserve all the time or thought I am putting into it.  It was a weak moment of mine where I let someone else's actions get the best of me.  While at dinner, I vented about the circumstance to my boss and I was set on returning to my room to sulk about the situation which was (and still is) miles out of my reach and control.  Everyone else was going to the city, everyone else was going to have fun but at that moment, all I wanted to do was turn on some angsty music and stare at the ceiling in sorrow.

Then it hit me.

I am currently living out one of my dreams by living in Europe.

"What the $%#^% do I have to be sad about?!"

So, at that moment, I made a choice: I am going to be happy and I am going to be positive.  I am always going to be happy and I am always going to be positive.

Happiness is a choice.  Happiness is the people we choose to surround ourselves with, the experiences we choose to have, and the attitudes we culminate. Over the past few days, weeks and months, this fact has become more evident to me than ever.  It's the law of attraction-- positivity influences positivity. Simple as that.

My good friend Taylor wrote an incredible and thought-provoking blog post the other day about how we often use social media to give off the impression that our lives are perfect.  It really made me think and reevaluate how I portray myself. One of my goals in life is to be real, both in person and on my social media facets.  Although I tend to always write about the happy times in my life, here I am, here is the real me-- my hair is a lions mane.  I will never be considered a fashionista.  I rarely cook and when I do, I eat unhealthy.  I pick at my nails and I have blemishes on my face.  I don't take national-geographic worthy photographs or play the guitar like Jimmy Hendrix.  And let's be honest, my spanish could use some work.  Now, I am not saying this all to throw a pity party or to receive validation but, I want to demonstrate the fact that I am not perfect.  I have things that I am working on and areas that need improvement.  But, people, I am ok with that.  I love my life, I honestly do.

I have had my trials and I have my insecurities.  I recognize that there will always be hardships and challenges to overcome and life isn't always sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.  But, I have learned (and maybe the hard way) that although I may not be able to choose what happens to me in life I can always choose my reaction.  I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel a little upset or anxious about the incident I mentioned above but, when I look around, I am overwhelmed at how much the Lord has given me.  I feel so blessed.

There is a quote from the movie, Into the Wild that says, "happiness is only real when shared." I wish I could adequately express my happiness and I wish I could properly share all the joy that is in my heart.

Brimming with Joy

I've been holding my thoughts in for a while--not necessarily out of fear or sadness but, rather because I haven't known exactly how to put them into words.

Right now, I should be studying for a mid-term but, I am avoiding it.  All I want to do is bask in the happiness and sunshine that has been surrounding me.  I read a quote by Neal A. Maxwell the other day and I have thought about it a lot recently.  In his talk "Brim With Joy" he says that, "Within each of our circles of friendship there lie so many unused opportunities to love, to serve, and to be taught. Indeed, one could apply the scriptural phrase about there being 'enough and to spare' (D&C 104:17). None of us ever fully utilizes the people-opportunities allocated to us within our circles of friendship. You and I may call these intersectings 'coincidence.' This word is understandable for mortals to use, but coincidence is not an appropriate word to describe the workings of an omniscient God. He does not do things by 'coincidence' but instead by 'divine design.'"

I know that my life is being guided by the Spirit and that the Lord is watching out for me.  I feel His love in the rain, the sun-rays, and the movement of the ocean.  I can't adequately express my gratitude for my roommates, my family, my friends, and my Savior.  

I look forward in anticipation for the future.  I am excited for the growth, the progression and knowledge that is coming my way.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

CS Lewis.

new friends

I met the most adorable little girl the other day and I just ran into her again.  Her name is Mapa, she is from Tonga and I assume she is around nine years old.  She smiled at me, laughed at my jokes and hugged me.  I felt her happiness, her love and her kindness.  

The Lord blessed me with her spirit today, I needed her positive energy and light.  

Hope to see you again soon Mapa. 

seriously, so happy.

hello sunshine, come into my life

my heart is so happy these days.  

 

 

happiness

i started reading the book "mere christianity" the other day and it is blowing my mind.

c.s. lewis has a way with words.  the chapter i read today focused a lot on the idea of free-will and happiness and this quote struck my fancy:

"the happiness which god designs for his higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water".

later in the chapter he discusses the idea of satan's plan to counterfeit the happiness god offers to us.

"when satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could 'be like gods'--could set up their own as if they had created themselves--be their own masters--invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside of god, apart from god.  and out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history-- money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery-- the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than god which will make him happy."

these ideas really got me thinking about the relationship i have with god and its correlation to my happiness.

i started making a list of everything that makes me happy:
long conversations with my best friend
the guitar
yoga, running, and being healthy
sitting on the back porch with my family
jumping into a pool
hitting a really good volley in tennis
surfing
running on the beach
eating good food
going to the temple
sunsets
family dinner
driving with the windows down and the music loud
running through the grass with bare-feet
being in love
riding my bike or longboard
working hard
***
the list goes on and on.  i am such a blessed girl.  honestly, it makes me emotional thinking about the life i have been given.  i make mistakes everyday yet somehow, god's love and blessings are always there.  i have an amazing family, a healthy body, the kindest friends, a beautiful home, a rocking education and i'm a member of the most soul-filing religion out there.  i get down about life sometimes, it's perplexities, and the unknown but i have every reason to be the happiest human alive and guess what?  i think i am.

"I hope we can be happy where we are, be grateful for our blessings—now, here—accept the challenge that is ours and make the most of it, and not be envious of others...God help us to be grateful for our blessings and never to be guilty of the sin ingratitude" 

Ezra Taft Benson

the best of the best

i am so very blessed.

hands down, i have the greatest dad in the world.

i belong with you, you belong with me

the problem with this song is that it isn't long enough.

my best friend got married

it really does amaze me how fast time goes by.  my cousin rachel and i use to stay up into the wee hours of the night dreaming of our future lives,  who we would marry, where we would live, and so on.  i remember phone calls about first kisses, horrible break-ups, and exciting dates.  

this past weekend, she got hitched.  

her and wade have such a beautiful love and they are so happy together.  

it was a lovely day and such a sweet reminder to me of how amazing my family is and how grateful i am for the gospel of jesus christ in my life.  i get to be with this crazy bunch my whole life and throughout the eternities.  i am seriously stoked, what an awesome blessing.

 

  

 

 

somebody that i use to know

the past couple of days have been spent with various members of my fabulous sanders family.  i love getting together with them, they are a funny bunch and always make me feel so loved.  

honestly, i have the best family in the world.  

my cousin rachel is getting married in two weeks so, the reason for the trip up to ogden was her bridal shower.

and today we painted our butts off at the old school my aunt bought in ogden where my cousin's reception will be held.  it is a work in progress but, it is going to be incredible.  

i am so excited to be a bridesmaid, spend time with some of my favorite people on the planet, and see my cousin (and best friend) at her happiest. 

 

*i promise i have more cousins than the three photographed in the pictures.  why i don't have pictures of them is beyond me.*

living in the sky with diamonds

 in my last post i mentioned how happy i have been lately and although i attributed it all to the gospel, here are just a couple of other things that have put me over the edge when it comes to my happiness...

 

 

 

halloween cookies, my little lover boys, my hilarious roommate (gosh, i wish you could all just have her for a day to experience her awesomeness), halloween decorations, the temple, beautiful sunsets, soaking up the sun at waimea and most importantly this boy is back on the island:  

 

"think of all the beauty around you and be happy"

anne frank

sometimes, i forget to actually write about myself and what i am feeling on my blog, not just about what i am doing.  i think i have a fear of boring my readers but, i need to get over that fear because i started this blog for the selfish purpose of preserving my memories.  

i think i can honestly say that right now, i am the happiest i have been in  a while.  i remember talking to by boss over the summer about my decision to come back to hawaii and she told me that the most important lesson she has learned in life is to never put your personal feeling of peace on the line.  i was really scared to come back to hawaii, i had so many feelings of apprehension but, i am so thankful for the decision i made to step onto that plane.  

i don't know why i was born with the curse of worrying but, i was.  i stress out so much about the future. am i in the right place? am i with the right people? am i really being the best i can be? am i doing the right things?
in church on sunday, the stake relief society came and talked to us and one of the sisters emphasized the importance of aligning our will with god's.  i think i have a really hard time with this, although it is what i most want in life.  i stress out so much about my plans that i put the lord's aside.  i know so whole-heartedly that he knows what is best for me but i sometimes forget that he knows and sees the whole picture.  i've learned a really important lesson this week and month: it is so much easier to put our trust in god's plan than in our own.  what's difficult is trying to figure out exactly what god's plan is.  

one of my favorite scriptures is john 14:27 "peace i leave with you, my peace i give unto you: not as the world giveth, give i unto you.  let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." lately, i have felt so much of that peace.  not the false sense of peace that the world sends but the quite and divine peace that comes from my lord and redeemer.  

my heart is so full of gratitude and love towards my savior and for the peace his gospel brings.

i am so thankful to be where i am, to be doing what i am doing, and to be surrounded by the people i am with.  

"learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my spirit, and you shall have peace in me."

{Doctrine and Covenants 19:23}

see the sky about to rain

all i want is more-- more time, more love, more sun, more beauty.

i'm addicted.

weekend update

life is good.
 i love those three words.  i feel extremely blessed today.  i finally feel as if i am coming to grips with my future.  i again have a plan and i am ready to move forward.  

i can honestly say that the peace i feel in life is directly attributed to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  how grateful i am for the happiness it brings; for the hope i feel when i realize i have a best friend in the Savior.  He is there and He is real, He is acquainted with every one of my dreams, sorrows, joys and fears.  

life is good

&

i am one lucky girl.